Hot damn! The news just reached me: USA Today published my LOST theory (or, at least as much of it as I could stuff into 200 words or less) as commented upon and graded by Cuse and Lindelof themselves. My theory received an A- from each of them. Such fun!

Here is the whole article, complete with other interesting theories and the associated Cuse & Lindelof comments and grades:

www.usatoday.com/printedit...mp.art.htm


Readers imagine living islands and talking dogs


Theory: It's alive!

The Island, and possibly our entire planet, is alive. It reads minds partially and clearly reads intense feelings. It includes many intelligences (the whispers), and its dominating intelligence is Jacob (the mystery man in the chair in the cabin). The Island can control and form matter, explaining its ability to heal (and) create apparitions including the smoke monster. It is the basis for "the box" that creates things that Ben described to Locke. Those who saw apparitions saw people who they felt strongly about.

Three rich and powerful people have been competing in the background of the story. They represent the past, present and intended future controllers of the island. These are Hanso/Dharma, Widmore and Paik.

Flight 815 was intentionally brought to the island by Hanso, but accidentally wrecked there.

The intent was to kidnap a selected group of people who match and exceed Ben's rapport with Jacob/The Island, to undermine Ben. Widmore was Ben's superior in the past but has been overthrown recently. Paik is the real man behind the freighter, and a standoff will happen when Ben's people capture Sun (Paik's daughter) and Paik's people capture Alex.

The off-Island story will resolve the conflict between the "Three Kings" � Hanso, Widmore and Paik.

Wes Brzozowski, Johnson City, N.Y.

Cuse: "The first theory is that the island � and possibly our entire planet � is alive."

Lindelof: "Otherwise known as the Al Gore theory of the show."

Cuse: "If the island is alive, what does it eat?"

Lindelof: "I think it eats Nikki and Paolo," two short-lived characters. The first part of the theory "is that this is a cognitive, thinking island, which is a very interesting theory. I would give that a B-plus for original thought and creativity."

Cuse: "My favorite part, though, is at the end, when this theorist refers to the three kings: Hanso, Widmore and Paik. I have this image of the three of them with crowns on their head, like Burger King crowns."

Lindelof: "I feel the idea of drawing a connection between Widmore and Paik is very prescient."

Cuse: "Hanso is a little bit older than these other two. He's more like a former king." After tonight's episode, "this theorist will have to go back to the drawing board because certain of his assumptions will be instantly challenged. It's going to require a slight deviation in thinking."

Lindelof: "They might be losing a king."

Grade: Cuse, B; Lindelof, B-plus


Theory: Jinn one up

The most rational explanation for the smoke monster is that it is a Jinn. The Quran states that Jinn (or Djinn) were created by God from "smokeless flame." Jinn are typically not visible but can assume many forms, including animals or persons. They often influence humans by appearing as someone known to the person � either living or dead. They live a long time, possibly centuries.

For countless years, the Island has been home to many Jinn. Although the electromagnetic properties of the Island keep it from being detected, its location became known to Alvar Hanso. The Dharma Initiative was created under the pretense of research beneficial to mankind, but was actually Hanso's attempt to harness the powers of the Island. The presence of Dharma on the Island represented a threat to its inhabitants.

The Jinn enlisted the help of young Benjamin Linus to stage the "purge." Eventually, Ben managed to assume control of one of the Jinn: Jacob. The circle of ash keeps Jacob imprisoned in the cabin. That metaphorical "magic box" that Ben refers to is actually the Jinn, who move extremely fast and are not confined by the limits of time and space.

Geoffrey Vaccarelli, Middlesex, N.J.

Cuse: "First, I dispute whether the plural of Jinn is Jinn. I'm fairly certain the plural is Jinns."

Lindelof: "Or Jinni. I just want to know what does this mean for Jin, as in the husband of Sun?"

Cuse: "Does it mean we named Jin as an allusion to the Jinns as referred to in the Quran? The answer is no."

Lindelof: "That the circle of ash basically keeps Jacob, who is the chief Jinn, contained … is fairly original thinking but pretty far off base."

Cuse: "I like the mention of the circle of ash, and I think as a result we want to award this theorist the right to use Circle of Ash as a band name."

Lindelof: "There should be a secondary prize for college band names encased in these theories."

Grade: Cuse, B-plus; Lindelof, B


Theory: Tomorrowland

The Hanso Foundation in the early '80s began construction of an amusement park island in the South Pacific, to include the world's greatest zoo, beautiful lush habitats, theme parks with roller coasters and a secluded bay for arrivals. Hanso was also utilizing the island as a field study unit for the Dharma Initiative. The stations (Pearl, Hydra, etc.) were both field units for Dharma and control stations for the attractions.

However, unbeknownst to Hanso and Dharma, the island was already inhabited. Shortly after the island opened, the natives started attacking the facilities and taking tourists as hostages. The clash between the natives and the Hanso-Dharmans resulted in the destruction of many attractions and the eventual abandonment of the island. One Hanso-Dharman joined the natives as their leader. He was a young Hanso "imagineer" named Benjamin Linus.

The four-toed statue is the remnants of the gates to Hanso Island. Two statues of Orson the Hanso Otter held up the entrance gates to the theme park wonderland. All subsequent additions and subtractions of people from the island are due to the struggles between Hanso and the natives to keep the island secret.

Matthew Vejvoda, Lemont, Ill.

Cuse: "This is the Jurassic Park-type theory. … I think this theory would work really well for the Lost Ride if (ABC owner) Disney were ever to create one at Disneyland."

Lindelof: "Especially since the word 'imagineer' is thrown in here."

Cuse: "Imagine that you go on this ride and many Disney cast members dressed as Others basically attack and pummel you throughout the ride. I think that sounds very exciting."

Lindelof: "We've always discussed that the ultimate Lost Ride at Disneyland would be that they just put you in a dark room, close the door, don't let you out for four hours and spin it around really fast so you come out and you don't know exactly what just happened to you. That sort of best simulates the experience of watching the show.

"This theory was going to get a C-plus from me, but when I read the words 'Orson the Hanso Otter' I suddenly elevated it to a B-minus. It refers to Orson the Hanso Otter as if we know who that was."

Cuse: "I would bet money that this person believes that Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen. I like this particularly as it might help us make money off an amusement park ride."

Grade: Cuse, B; Lindelof, B-minus


Theory: The diabolical experiment

Matthew Abbadon (the thin man who recruited the freighter crew) gains control of Aaron. This brilliant boy is fated to grow up and eventually work in a secret "Area 51" military laboratory on a remote Eniwetok-like island. A diabolically powerful experiment goes very wrong, and Aaron is trapped in another dimension, eternally unstuck from normal space-time and only partly able to contact this dimension (as through Ben and the dead, like Jack's dad and Charlie).

We know Aaron (as an adult after the disaster) by the name "Jacob." Everything that happens in Lost is part of a desperate millennia-long effort orchestrated by Jacob to alter the flow of events such that his original fatal error in creating a space-time rift is averted at the critical moment. Across centuries Jacob manipulates forces to gather the interconnected Lost-ies; their fates are all bound together with his fate.

Jack the healer exercises free will and (thanks to eventually working together with Locke, and most especially thanks to the love and sacrifice of Kate) rescues and cures Jacob, so healing the space-time rift and saving the world. Jack and Kate will live the rest of their lives together in love, ultimately becoming the island's Adam and Eve at rest in the cavern.

Doran Vaughan, Anchorage, Alaska

Cuse: "First of all, any theory that contains the words 'a diabolically powerful experiment goes very wrong,' I love. That's the foundation of 100 great science-fiction stories."

Lindelof: "It's a wildly imaginative theory. … This is a great theory because it's time-travel-related and it's saying Aaron is Jacob. … There were people earlier this season who were thinking that Harold Perrineau (Michael) was playing a grown-up version of (son) Walt. People keep going to this place. It's sort of a great Rod Serling Twilight Zone device - a future version of yourself comes back and warns a younger version of yourself not to do something or to do something. But we're not dealing in paradox (on Lost). We really limit ourselves.

"And we like it because it's very character-based. Whereas many of these theories don't even mention any of the characters, this one mentions Abbadon, Jack, Kate, Locke, Aaron and Charlie. It's nice to have the focus on our characters."

Cuse: "The fluidity of space-time is something which is very much on the right track in this theory. Even if some of the specifics are not quite right, there's a lot of free thinking in this theory."

Lindelof: "It's not exactly the most accurate theory in the world. But there is a lot of supporting evidence, a lot of thought. Obviously, this person watches the show very closely."

Grade: Cuse and Lindelof, both A-minus


Theory: The 6 and the Sickness

What do Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sun and Sayid have in common? None of these five were anywhere near the Swan station when it imploded and the sky turned purple. So what does this mean in relation to the Oceanic 6? They are literally the only survivors of Oceanic 815 that can safely leave the island without dying.

We know that the "Sickness" is actually the form of time travel that Desmond experienced when leaving the island on the helicopter. But Desmond didn't die when he left the island because he found his constant in Penny Widmore. But more importantly because he had been injecting himself with the Dharma vaccine since the day he entered the Swan.

This brings us to Aaron Littleton, the last member of the Oceanic 6. Aaron has been injected with the same vaccine in the womb and after being born. The vaccine seems to curb the effects of the sickness when leaving the island.

We know at least some of the 815 survivors are still living on the island in the future. Meaning only those who can leave the island will. The rest of the Lost-ies are left behind (unwillingly) due to the effects of the "Sickness" they will experience when leaving.

Andy Stites, St. Louis

Cuse: "In 'The Constant,' we obviously saw that it's important to stay on the right bearing going on and off the island. People on the freighter, as it got close to the island, started experiencing sickness, and we know that Rousseau's people suffered from a sickness when they came to the island, so this person is in the house in certain areas."

Lindelof: "The causal relationship between the sickness and the strange fluctuations in space-time is a good catch. As far as the Oceanic 6 being the only ones who can leave the island, that is incorrect, so we're going to say it's a wash."

Grade: Lindelof, A-minus; Cuse, B-plus


Theory: Putting on the dog

Vincent the dog is a manifestation of the smoke monster. In the pilot episode, when the survivors first hears the monster, Walt asks, "Is that Vincent?"

Walt � a "very special boy" � was too smart to think that his dog could make dinosaur-sized noises. He knew something the rest of the survivors didn't. In the pilot episode, when Jack, Kate, and Charlie head off to their first encounter with the monster, the camera pans to show Vincent staring creepily at them. In "So It Begins," the last of the "Lost: Missing Pieces," we learn that Jack's mysteriously not-dead father instructed Vincent to go find Jack just before the first scene of the show. Most dogs don't speak English.

One of the Lost Experience websites was Retrieversoftruth.com, which claimed that "the yellow Lab can read your mind." The name used to refer to the monster on the blast-door map was "Cerberus." Cerberus is a dog. And the Others keep the monster out of their compound with an invisible fence, a deadly version of what my family uses for our dogs.

Andrew Ayers, Albany, N.Y.

Lindelof: " 'Vincent staring creepily at them' reminds me of a Simpsons episode where they have this sort of shifty dog whose eyes move back and forth in the last frame of the episode. So I think this person must be a Simpsons fan, and that is going to earn them a full letter grade higher than they would have gotten."

Cuse: "We had had a plan in Season 1 to actually do a flashback from the dog's point of view."

Lindelof: About Vincent not speaking English, "The last time I checked, most dogs don't speak. Does this guy have a dog that speaks Dutch? … That's another inside joke we have. One day they'll all be sitting around the campfire talking about how confusing everything on the island is, and the camera will pan over to Vincent and he'll go, 'You know what I think …' "

Cuse: " 'Let me explain it to you. Let me break it down.' "

Lindelof: "BOOM! Lost."

Grade: Lindelof, C; Cuse, A-minus for amusement factor, D for accuracy: "Had he postulated that the entire island was a dog, it would have gone up a letter grade."


Theory: Very bad dads

The bad dads are the secret to everything. Jack and Claire's dad, Sun's dad, Penny's dad, Locke's "dad" and Sawyer's namesake, etc. They are a group of powerful men who, not unlike the Illuminati, want to control the world, but I don't think they are the Illuminati.

I think they want to take over from them. The island, the ultimate power in the universe, is the way to do that. Maybe they are even good guys, but we don't know it yet. They pulled strings to have specific people, including their kids, crash on the island.

These people were chosen not by destiny but by these powerful men to fulfill a specific purpose � taking over the island � and perhaps they've been grooming them for this their whole lives. For example, everything Christian Shephard did made Jack into a hero, even though he told him not to be one.

Once they take over and the destiny these men instigated comes to fruition, their descendants will repopulate the Earth led by a new Adam and Eve. The bodies in the cave are Aaron and Ji Yeon.

Antoinette Lopes, New Bedford, Mass.

Lindelof: "I just love the idea that Christian Shephard and Anthony Cooper and Mr. Paik all kind of got together and said, 'What's the best possible way to screw up our kids so that they will all get on a plane, go to an island and save the world?' The thinking that the only possible reason your parents could ever be mean to you is that they are grooming you to save the world makes me so happy."

Cuse: "We'd like to meet this person, because (she) clearly has as many Dad issues as the two of us do."

Lindelof: "And the inspiredness of saying the two skeletons are the grown-up versions of Aaron and Ji Yeon, that they will some day couple."

Grade: Cuse, D for accuracy, A for originality; Lindelof, D for accuracy, A-plus-plus for originality


Theory: Dharma chameleon

There is an off-island presence for Dharma that is working to get back onto the island to finish their work with the Valenzetti Equation. Ms. Hawking (the white-haired time-traveler who crossed paths with Desmond) was a former Swan worker and developed the same ability Desmond has. Ms. Hawking accidently got this ability during the original incident. She survived by finding her constant � Brother Campbell � and left the island. After leaving the island, her visions developed, and she has seen what needs to take place in order for Dharma to regain control of the island.

Her visions include a complicated pattern of people that are required to be on the island in order for a set series of events to occur for Dharma to return to the island. With the help of others, including Christian Shephard, Richard Malkin, Nadia and Libby, the group ensures that specific people are on the plane in order for the series of events to occur.

Desmond must reach the island to cause Flight 815 to crash; Locke must locate the hatch to keep Desmond alive. Desmond must influence Charlie to turn off the jamming device. Jack calls the freighter.

Doug Douillard, Fort Collins, Colo.

Cuse: "This is a very evolved theory that has a lot of stuff in it that's pretty close to the mark.."

Lindelof: "We liked the way it was worded, so concisely. And because it does contain the aforementioned theories of time travel and manipulation of space-time, this theory gets a solid A."

Cuse: "As a matter of fact, we can't even comment too much because there's a lot that's pretty accurate."

Lindelof: "We're not going to explain why we're giving it an A. Hopefully, the writer of this theory will take their A and put it up on their refrigerator."

Cuse: "It's not all correct, but we kind of responded to the way this person thought."

Lindelof: "It's not all correct, but it could be correct."

Cuse: "Or parts of it could be correct."

Lindelof: "That's correct."

Cuse: "I will say that this person is going to really respond to Season 5 and feel superior to everyone else."

Lindelof: "Then, in Season 6, we will crush their spirits and prove them wrong. And until then, they should enjoy the ride."

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